Irresistible Revolution

Let's just scratch the last entry I wrote. No sooner had I written that blog that God quickly reminded me why I am where I am and what my purpose is.

I finally started reading Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne (after a year of wanting to read it but never getting around to it) and it has reminded me of my passions and the reason God gave me those passions. If I had read this book a few years ago it would have completely wrecked me...turned everything I knew and thought upside down to reveal a reality about who Jesus is and who as Christians we are called to be. I feel like I have already been wrecked in that area...but I too often forget that. This book is "re-wrecking" my life. It is bringing me back to the place when God first got a hold of my heart and set me on fire for Him...gave me such an unsettling in my soul to do something more...not be be more or accomplish more, but that there was so much more to following Jesus than church on Sunday nights (or morning); that we are called to love and to serve the least of these...that we are feeding Jesus, clothing him, serving him. "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." (Matt. 25:40)

I cannot forget the reason Jesus called us...I cannot live as though the bible is a "guideline" to follow when my own way gets lost...I want it to be my life, my soul, my food and shelter. I want to live the bible and see it happen...not just read about what Jesus did...do what Jesus did. "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these..." (John 14:12) I want this to be what defines my life. I want to love like Jesus loved...I want to hold nothing back from serving Him.

"Over and over, when I ask God why all of these injustices are allowed to exist in the world, I can feel the Spirit whisper to me, 'You tell me why we allow this to happen. You are my body, my hands, my feet.'"

-Irresistible Revolution

Life. Right Now.

"The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row. It seems farther than ever before. I need you so much closer. So come on." -Death Cab

This defines my life right now. I have no idea where I'm at and I feel so far away from where I'm supposed to be. I've lost sight of the purpose for what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.

I need to see clearly...but I don't know how.

Fevers and Coughs

This title sums up my entire week. I've been sick since Tuesday night after the David Crowder concert, which was amazing, and am still fighting it!

I woke up Wednesday morning with a fever and then developed a cough and a stuffy nose. I stayed home from school all day Wednesday and had to cancel life group. I was feeling better when the night came around but then I woke up in the morning to an even worse fever! It was horrible...my whole body was on fire. So I skipped yet another day of school. I watched movies and the seasons of Greek all day. I went to bed Thursday night with a horrible fever...but by the morning it had gone away! I was excited because I thought maybe I would be able to go to the big event at Simpson, Airband. Only to be surprised around 6 o' clock by another fever! Ugh...I hate being sick.

I'm now sitting home on a Friday evening missing the big event. I've also missed 3 days of school and 2 quizzes...only 1 of which I can make up. I hate being sick! I just want to feel better and be able to leave thise house and get off the couch. I have'nt been this sick in a really long time...dang flu. I'm really hoping that I will be better by the time Monday rolls around so that I don't miss any more school. That would be wonderful.

Sex Trafficking

I just watched a 45 minute video on sex-trafficking in the Netherlands, Japan, Jamaica, and the U.S. It focused on those four countries for the concern of the documentary but it is informational about sex trafficking all over the world.

This video broke my heart but it set me on fire to bring change to this issue...in whatever way I can and right now that way is praying. I think some people tend to underestimate the power of prayer...but it is so extremely powerful. I believe that through prayer situations begin to change.

What God really put on my heart through this video was to really start praying for the men in this world...the buyers in the sex industry, the men who run the brothels, the loverboys who manipulate woman into prostitution, the pimps. i have such a burden to pray for them...because without demand for these women, the industry wouldn't be so big. Without the men behind the business to traffic these women, there wouldn't be so many being brought into the world of prostitution. It makes me so sad that this is such a huge multi-billion dollar industry...and that means there are that many people paying for these prostitutes! It's so sad...and so far from what is supposed to be.

The other thing that really makes me sad is that it is becoming so much more acceptable to do these things. It's legal in Amsterdam...it's not legal here but believe it or not there are tens of thousands of women trafficked into the US every year. And many more women already in the US who are in prostitution. Everywhere you go there are adult stores...filled with porn of young women showing themselves off to the world. Yes...some choose to do it, but does that make it ok? Does that mean that they are not going to come out of it down the road and realize how damaging it truly was? And the men! So many men think it's ok to look at porn...no big deal. It is a huge deal! Huge. Men need to step up. The men in our world need to be challenged to be real men like God created them to be. I'm not talking about ALL men...but so many men in this world.

Ok...for example. Most often the only type of punishment that takes place in the world of prostitution is that the prostitutes are the ones to be arrested...whether they are doing it by their own choice or being forced. And the pimps who take every penny the woman makes and uses it to barely supply the woman's needs, but pockets the rest? What happens to him? And the man paying for the prostitute...what about him? It's so warped...it's so sad.

I want to see men standing up and saying that they won't tolerate that anymore...that they will take a stand and be the one to go out and minister to these men. To bring the change. To pray for this issue. I am so burdened by this issue. I am going to pray until God tells me to go...and then I'll go but I'll keep praying.

I believe that God will hear my cries for this...and I think that change will come. God will bring a revolution...men will turn back to Him and step up like never before. I believe this and I am praying for this. Anything is possible through Christ. He is the victor...Satan may be the ruler of the world...but God is KING. He is Lord over all, and Satan will not win over these men...they are God's and God will reclaim them.

"For your Maker is your husband-the Lord Almighty is His name-the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth." Isaiah 54:5

www.enddemand.org

DREAMS

So this summer has been kind of rough...but at the same time such a learning period. Lately God has been giving me these amazing dreams and filling me with such a passion for His people. But at the same time Satan has been attacking me so hard...it's such a constant struggle. Sometimes I give up, and I don't stand my ground like I should, because I feel like I can't win. And then I feel so discouraged that I gave up...and I didn't fight. But I know I can win!

I just need to surrender everything to Him...which I realized I haven't done. There are things that I've been holding onto because of fear of letting it go. But everything that I don't surrender...and try to hold onto, crumbles. Because I'm trying to do it myself, instead of giving it to God. I can't hold onto anything anymore...I need to put my full trust in the Lord and know that His plans are higher than mine...and He knows everything! I don't want the things of this world anymore...those things that I won't give up...I'm done. I give it all to Him.

I can no longer let anything stand in my way of the dreams God has given me...I can't let Satan discourage me and bring me down. I need to stand no matter how hard the struggle...no matter how long...no matter what. I will not fall again and let these battles overtake me. I want to be faithful to the call placed on my life...to the person the Lord has made me to be. To the dreams the Lord gave me...to the mission He has put me on. I want to be real...passionate. I don't want to live for anything else.

So God has given me this amazing dream to lead a mission team to the red light district in Amsterdam. I went there this summer on my way to Africa. We had a really long layover and went into the city, and ended up in a red light district...with women flaunting themsleves in windows. My heart broke for these women and this city! I told my team that I wanted to go back there someday...and I feel God leading me there this coming summer.

My vision for the trip is to lead a team of men and women...women to minister to the prostitutes...and the men to minister to the men going to the prostitutes. I want to build real relationships with these men and women in Amsterdam and just love on them. I want these women to know who they truly are...beautiful...and the men to know the same. I want to see restoration...healing...empowerment...and love.

I also just want to really be interceding for Amsterdam. I want to walk around the city and pray, intercede...just let God's power come. I want to see the city restored...and revival to happen. I believe God has such a heart for this city, and wants to see them come back to Him. And I know He has called me there...and will call the people He has to this team. I am so excited to see what God has for this trip...I know it is going to be amazing.

Past

Scalpel poised and ready

Incision smooth and precise

Life pours from the aperture

Heart beating under rancid flesh

The enemy’s maniacal laugh resonates through the hollow walls

Body exposed to the world

Every deep crevice revealed to the wolves

The world hisses and scoffs at the emptiness

Wounds ripped open for show

The finest production the inhabitants can fathom

A fine penny to cut in deeper

Deeper they cry, deeper

First to the heart is the diamond in the ruff

The woman lies motionless and waits

As they carve, chip, drill reaching for a part

Pieces held by many once what was whole

Never to be whole again

They dig deeper scrounging for every last bit

Eyeing in disappointment at the meager portions

The shell left emptied of its form

Light flows and scatters vultures

The carcass begins its rebirth

But they return, dig deeper

Scabs form

They’re torn open

Until one comes with the patches

Mending and reviving

Not whole or adequate, but patched and ready

Waiting for the needle and thread to complete the creation

This is a poem from my past. Let me just say that God saved me from this depression. I am amazed to read this and see where I was...and to look at who I am now. God made me so new, and He healed me...nothing else brought me to the place I am today. It was only God's love for His creation and my choice to run back into His open arms.

Kenya Part 1

It has been way too long since I last wrote a blog. Last time I wrote I was in Amsterdam on my way to Kenya. Now I am back in Redding just enjoying and obligation free summer. If you want to read about our daily activities in Kenya you can go here http://eliteams.blogspot.com/2009/05/simpson-univ-09-we-are-in-kenya.html. Otherwise I won't go into the specifics of my trip but just explain what the Lord was doing in me and through my trip.

Africa was an amazing trip and it is so hard to explain everything that God did while we were there, but He blessed every part of our trip. First of all the girls that were a part of my team: Megan McCarty, Megan Flores, and Karissa Hansen were all so wonderful. We got to know each other so much better on our trip and got a lot closer as friends. We worked so well together and felt really comfortable being honest and open with each other, so we were able to work through issues easily and lean on one another in prayer. It was such a blessing to be able to have people around me that I could confide in. Not to mention that since we were able to talk with each other we were comfortable joking and just having a lot of fun.

In fact, there were a lot of jokes we took away from the trip. One of the ongoing jokes was our bathroom jokes...because we seemed to have a lot of problems in and with bathrooms. Take this video for example, of when Karissa was locked in the bathroom.


Aside from the fun and all of the jokes God revealed some amazing things to me. First of all He showed me how big He really is. I already knew He was big, but I really got to experience how big He is and how He is at work all over the world. I was able to participate in the work that God is doing on the other side of the world. It is so cool to see that God is so present and at work everywhere! There is not a place in this whole world where God is not working, and there are so many opportunities for us to join in on what is happening.

We partnered with a ministry called Empowering Lives International (ELI) and it was such a blessing to be able to help them in the work they are doing for God's kingdom. I just fell in love with the ministry and the people that are a part of it. Here is a little info about ELI:

This organization seeks to help those who are in poverty. One of the major reasons for poverty in Africa is the fact that people lack the skills, knowledge, or opportunities to succeed. ELI is working to break the cycle of poverty through the establishment of Skills for Life training centers.

In these centers people from all over Kenya come to be taught new farming methods. The ELI staff seeks to broaden the range of possibilities in farming and teach people to utilize every resource that is available to them. By introducing new farming techniques and procedures, people learn to save money and produce better crops. Since Kenya is predominantly agricultural, these skills are very useful to have.

ELI also has Alcohol Rehab programs. Alcoholism is a major issue in Africa, as many people see alcohol sales as a way to provide for their families. It is an ever growing problem for Kenya and ELI has recognized that. With the Anti-Alcoholic program ELI seeks to help alcoholics come out of their alcoholism by providing them with training through the 12-step program after a week of detox. Before sending them back out into their communities they are taught business and agricultural skills to be able to be successful.

I really enjoyed getting to know the people that work at ELI and grew to feel so at home with them. I felt like they were a part of my family and I was a part of theirs, I felt so welcomed by every person. I miss those people so much, they each have an amazing heart and passion for God's people and want to bring the love of Christ to everyone. I really love those people and I am so glad I was able to get to know them.

The part about my trip that I enjoyed the most was getting to know the people, and especially the children in the Children's Home at ELI. There were 91 beautiful children and each one is so wonderful. The way the home is set up is the children are divided into 4 famililes: each family has a set of house parents that care for the children, and each family has 12 girls and 12 boys. The family I stayed with for the time while I was there was the Nickson family. I cannot even explain how much I came to love those children. If it were possible I would have brought them all home with me. But I know that they are being loved by their house parents and the other staff at ELI.

80 percent of the children at the home were orphaned by AIDS and 2 kids are infected with HIV. The rest lost their parents from illnesses or accidents. Although these children have all gone through so much pain in their lives they are the happiest and most grateful, appreciative children I have ever met. They thank God every day for blessing them with a place to live and be cared for, and they pray for those children who aren't cared for. They really have great hearts to help others, and they all have high hopes and dreams for their futures. Some kids want to be in the Kenyan government, some want to be engineers, pilots, politicians, teachers, doctors, and so many other things. Every child has a dream for themselves, and they know that with God anything is possible. Although the odds were stacked against them, they persevered. I learned so much from the children and their attitudes and heart, and most of all the faith.

I have said a lot so far, but not everything...so in my next blog I'll continue.