Past

Scalpel poised and ready

Incision smooth and precise

Life pours from the aperture

Heart beating under rancid flesh

The enemy’s maniacal laugh resonates through the hollow walls

Body exposed to the world

Every deep crevice revealed to the wolves

The world hisses and scoffs at the emptiness

Wounds ripped open for show

The finest production the inhabitants can fathom

A fine penny to cut in deeper

Deeper they cry, deeper

First to the heart is the diamond in the ruff

The woman lies motionless and waits

As they carve, chip, drill reaching for a part

Pieces held by many once what was whole

Never to be whole again

They dig deeper scrounging for every last bit

Eyeing in disappointment at the meager portions

The shell left emptied of its form

Light flows and scatters vultures

The carcass begins its rebirth

But they return, dig deeper

Scabs form

They’re torn open

Until one comes with the patches

Mending and reviving

Not whole or adequate, but patched and ready

Waiting for the needle and thread to complete the creation

This is a poem from my past. Let me just say that God saved me from this depression. I am amazed to read this and see where I was...and to look at who I am now. God made me so new, and He healed me...nothing else brought me to the place I am today. It was only God's love for His creation and my choice to run back into His open arms.

Kenya Part 1

It has been way too long since I last wrote a blog. Last time I wrote I was in Amsterdam on my way to Kenya. Now I am back in Redding just enjoying and obligation free summer. If you want to read about our daily activities in Kenya you can go here http://eliteams.blogspot.com/2009/05/simpson-univ-09-we-are-in-kenya.html. Otherwise I won't go into the specifics of my trip but just explain what the Lord was doing in me and through my trip.

Africa was an amazing trip and it is so hard to explain everything that God did while we were there, but He blessed every part of our trip. First of all the girls that were a part of my team: Megan McCarty, Megan Flores, and Karissa Hansen were all so wonderful. We got to know each other so much better on our trip and got a lot closer as friends. We worked so well together and felt really comfortable being honest and open with each other, so we were able to work through issues easily and lean on one another in prayer. It was such a blessing to be able to have people around me that I could confide in. Not to mention that since we were able to talk with each other we were comfortable joking and just having a lot of fun.

In fact, there were a lot of jokes we took away from the trip. One of the ongoing jokes was our bathroom jokes...because we seemed to have a lot of problems in and with bathrooms. Take this video for example, of when Karissa was locked in the bathroom.


Aside from the fun and all of the jokes God revealed some amazing things to me. First of all He showed me how big He really is. I already knew He was big, but I really got to experience how big He is and how He is at work all over the world. I was able to participate in the work that God is doing on the other side of the world. It is so cool to see that God is so present and at work everywhere! There is not a place in this whole world where God is not working, and there are so many opportunities for us to join in on what is happening.

We partnered with a ministry called Empowering Lives International (ELI) and it was such a blessing to be able to help them in the work they are doing for God's kingdom. I just fell in love with the ministry and the people that are a part of it. Here is a little info about ELI:

This organization seeks to help those who are in poverty. One of the major reasons for poverty in Africa is the fact that people lack the skills, knowledge, or opportunities to succeed. ELI is working to break the cycle of poverty through the establishment of Skills for Life training centers.

In these centers people from all over Kenya come to be taught new farming methods. The ELI staff seeks to broaden the range of possibilities in farming and teach people to utilize every resource that is available to them. By introducing new farming techniques and procedures, people learn to save money and produce better crops. Since Kenya is predominantly agricultural, these skills are very useful to have.

ELI also has Alcohol Rehab programs. Alcoholism is a major issue in Africa, as many people see alcohol sales as a way to provide for their families. It is an ever growing problem for Kenya and ELI has recognized that. With the Anti-Alcoholic program ELI seeks to help alcoholics come out of their alcoholism by providing them with training through the 12-step program after a week of detox. Before sending them back out into their communities they are taught business and agricultural skills to be able to be successful.

I really enjoyed getting to know the people that work at ELI and grew to feel so at home with them. I felt like they were a part of my family and I was a part of theirs, I felt so welcomed by every person. I miss those people so much, they each have an amazing heart and passion for God's people and want to bring the love of Christ to everyone. I really love those people and I am so glad I was able to get to know them.

The part about my trip that I enjoyed the most was getting to know the people, and especially the children in the Children's Home at ELI. There were 91 beautiful children and each one is so wonderful. The way the home is set up is the children are divided into 4 famililes: each family has a set of house parents that care for the children, and each family has 12 girls and 12 boys. The family I stayed with for the time while I was there was the Nickson family. I cannot even explain how much I came to love those children. If it were possible I would have brought them all home with me. But I know that they are being loved by their house parents and the other staff at ELI.

80 percent of the children at the home were orphaned by AIDS and 2 kids are infected with HIV. The rest lost their parents from illnesses or accidents. Although these children have all gone through so much pain in their lives they are the happiest and most grateful, appreciative children I have ever met. They thank God every day for blessing them with a place to live and be cared for, and they pray for those children who aren't cared for. They really have great hearts to help others, and they all have high hopes and dreams for their futures. Some kids want to be in the Kenyan government, some want to be engineers, pilots, politicians, teachers, doctors, and so many other things. Every child has a dream for themselves, and they know that with God anything is possible. Although the odds were stacked against them, they persevered. I learned so much from the children and their attitudes and heart, and most of all the faith.

I have said a lot so far, but not everything...so in my next blog I'll continue.

Amsterdam!!

Hello everyone! I only have a few minutes but we are randomly in an apple store in Amsterdam and there is internet so we are taking advantage of the opportunity. We have an 11 hour layover so we are exploring the city of Amsterdam and it is amazing!! We saw the Anne Frank house and the architecture here is so amazing! I can't believe I'm here...but I am! We leave tonight for Nairobi and will arrive there at about 7am tomorrow morning. Keep Praying for us as we travel but so far everything has gone smooth! Bwana Asifiwe (praise the lord in swahili)

On our way to Kenya!!!!!!!!!

I am leaving tomorrow at 3pm for Africa. I am so excited I cannot even explain the excitement. I won't be able to write or call...basically no communication until June 17th when we arrive back the states. We will, however, be able to update our team blog about once a week with what we are doing. The blog address is www.eliteams.blogspot.com. Read our blogs and please pray for us!! Thank you everyone for all of your prayers already and it's so good to know that we are so covered in prayer back in the states. I love you all and I can't wait to come back and tell everyone about my trip and what God did!!

Training Week

4 days until I leave for Kenya!!! I'm really excited and ready to go. Since Monday I have been at training week at Simpson for all of the missions teams. It has been a really good learning and growing experience while at the same time being very difficult and challenging. I have been pushed physically this week for the most part but that has really taught me a lot about endurance. We started out the week with a camping trip at Castle Crags. The first day we arrived we hiked up to one of the crags...it was about 3 miles uphill and then we had to go back down it. This hike was very difficult because I am not used to hiking uphill for that long and we also had to climb up rocks once we got closer to the top. By the end of the hike we were all extremely tired and hungry. Although it was difficult I really learned a lot about enduring. God was showing me that I need to endure through the struggle no matter how hard it is because eventually I will make it through. I also learned a lot about attitudes and choosing to have a good attitude even when you are extremely frustrated. If you choose to have a good attitude not only will your own experience be more positive, but also the people around you.

The next day we helped the park services carve out a trail for people to walk on. The day before I wondered out loud to my team "I wonder how they make these trails?"...and then the next day I found out firsthand...it's not easy. You actually dig the dirt out to make the path smooth and wide. It was hard work but we made it through. The rest of the week we have just bee spending time with God back at campus and doing team building activities. I have learned a lot about my team this week and we are beginning to work very well together. 

Today is our first day where we have some rest so it has been really nice to relax my muscles finally. I am really glad that the Lord has called me to this because I love learning and being pushed out of my comfort zone to accomplish big things. The Lord is so good. I just ask that you keep me and my team in your prayers as we train and then as we travel to Kenya on Monday!!

Baptism

Unleashed!

This past few months have been the most amazing months and there are a few reasons why. The first reason is that I was part of a Life Group at the Stirring. The second is that I got a new boss and new responsibilities at my job. The third is that God has been calling me out and fulfilling what he had told me about 3 years ago.

So to start...3 years ago when I turned my life back to Christ and began following Him again God gave me a promise. I was really down at the time because I was struggling with how to live my new life and let go of my past. I was in class one morning and I felt so beat down and attacked that I couldn't stand it and I pulled out my bible right there in class. I was reading the Psalms when I came across Psalm 138:8 ("The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me, Your love Oh LORD endures forever. Do not abandon the works of your hands.") I felt like at that moment the Lord was giving me this verse and telling me "Elisa, I have a purpose for your life and I am faithful and will fulfill that in you. My love is sufficient for you and will never give way." At that moment a peace came over me and I knew that the Lord was doing something in me and He did have a purpose for my life.

Later I was reading the story of Moses and while reading the story of Moses being called by God the Lord told me that I was like Moses. At that time I was making excuses to the Lord of why I couldn't do what He wanted me to do. The Lord told me that my excuses are nothing and that He was going to use me in spite of what I thought my flaws were. He told me then that I would be a leader, and I would lead people to freedom like Moses did.

Although I continued to walk with Christ I also continued to struggle with my past at points and never fully gave everything over to Him. I always made excuses of why I couldn't let the Lord use me to be a leader. I told Him that I was too shy, didn't speak well, couldn't relate to people, had no influence....and the list went on. I believed so many lies about myself that it held me back from really stepping out into the role God was calling me to. It wasn't until about 6 months ago that I was truly freed from all of the lies of my past and the excuses of not being good enough to be used. Since that point the Lord has been working so much in my life.

The past 4 months or so have been some of the most challenging and yet the most rewarding. God began calling me out as a leader and putting me in positions of leadership where I had authority and influence. I had never dreamed that I would have the positions that I did. I began to realize that there was so much more in me that I could give over to the Lord. He began to reveal to me the areas in which I needed to grow as a leader and the areas in which He wanted me to step out of my comfort zone.

That's when I got into Derrick Fleck's life group of Spiritual Formation. This group has been so incredibly amazing I can't even explain it. I have formed so many new friendships and truly feel like I have made a family. I feel so at home and encouraged with these people and I love going and meeting every Monday at 7. I have learned to open up, to step out and live out the calling God has put on my life. Derrick challenged us to really reach out and he constantly spoke destiny into our lives which was so cool. I have come away from this group with so much encouragement, faith, confidence, and love. I feel so loved by these people and I have never had people speak into my life like at this group. This has really been one of the things that has pushed me forward into the spot I am at right now. I have been so challenged and have gained so much.

I have also been pushed to step out by my new boss Elizabeth Peterson. She is an amazing lady and has been such an encouragement to me. She has really been someone that has lovingly called me out as a leader and helped me to really embrace what it means to lead. She has shown me so much love and has really helped to spark such a passion in me for my school and the commuters there. I have been so incredibly challenged by this job (which doesn't feel like a "job") to grow as a leader. I have learned how to lead and be good at it. There is so much that goes into it that I never realized until now. She has also challenged me to be the spiritual leader in the commuter program as well. I am so excited for what God is doing with Simpson and with the commuter program. It has been such a blessing to be able to help build the foundations for such an amazing program.

So....all of this led to my complete surrender of everything I have to the Lord's will and the purpose that He has for me. I am tired of holding myself back because of fear that I will not do it right. So on Sunday (Easter) I got baptized at the Stirring. I felt God calling me to do this because I finally have surrendered all to Him and am ready to give up everything for Him. I feel like something so new is beginning in my life that I have never experienced before and I wanted to show everyone that I am so in love with Jesus and am dead to my old life and fully embracing the new one! It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I cannot fully describe how I felt that night that I got baptized. I was so overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit and when I was in that tub I felt His presence like I never felt it before. In that moment that I went under and came up there was so much love and victory that I had never felt in my entire life like I did in that moment. And now I have such a sense of something so fresh and new beginning in my life, something so great that I cannot even fathom what it is.

That was confirmed tonight when Matt, Kendall, Niki, and Derrick prayed over me and anointed me. Matt spoke confidence over me and said that I will have confidence in the Lord and that nothing will hold me back any longer. Niki said that she felt that God was unleashing so much stuff that it was crazy, and Derrick said that I have authority to speak and that God was giving me something and I need to run with it. This all confirmed what the Lord has been speaking to me the last few months. He has been preparing me for something great, and it has now been unleashed in me and darkness better watch out! I am a warrior and I am not letting anything hold me back from running ahead full force with what the Lord has for me. I am so thankful for my life group and for these people who have spoke so much life into me.

I feel so ALIVE like I have never felt before. I am so excited for what the Lord is doing in me and I just want to shout it so loud! Thank you LORD!