DREAMS

So this summer has been kind of rough...but at the same time such a learning period. Lately God has been giving me these amazing dreams and filling me with such a passion for His people. But at the same time Satan has been attacking me so hard...it's such a constant struggle. Sometimes I give up, and I don't stand my ground like I should, because I feel like I can't win. And then I feel so discouraged that I gave up...and I didn't fight. But I know I can win!

I just need to surrender everything to Him...which I realized I haven't done. There are things that I've been holding onto because of fear of letting it go. But everything that I don't surrender...and try to hold onto, crumbles. Because I'm trying to do it myself, instead of giving it to God. I can't hold onto anything anymore...I need to put my full trust in the Lord and know that His plans are higher than mine...and He knows everything! I don't want the things of this world anymore...those things that I won't give up...I'm done. I give it all to Him.

I can no longer let anything stand in my way of the dreams God has given me...I can't let Satan discourage me and bring me down. I need to stand no matter how hard the struggle...no matter how long...no matter what. I will not fall again and let these battles overtake me. I want to be faithful to the call placed on my life...to the person the Lord has made me to be. To the dreams the Lord gave me...to the mission He has put me on. I want to be real...passionate. I don't want to live for anything else.

So God has given me this amazing dream to lead a mission team to the red light district in Amsterdam. I went there this summer on my way to Africa. We had a really long layover and went into the city, and ended up in a red light district...with women flaunting themsleves in windows. My heart broke for these women and this city! I told my team that I wanted to go back there someday...and I feel God leading me there this coming summer.

My vision for the trip is to lead a team of men and women...women to minister to the prostitutes...and the men to minister to the men going to the prostitutes. I want to build real relationships with these men and women in Amsterdam and just love on them. I want these women to know who they truly are...beautiful...and the men to know the same. I want to see restoration...healing...empowerment...and love.

I also just want to really be interceding for Amsterdam. I want to walk around the city and pray, intercede...just let God's power come. I want to see the city restored...and revival to happen. I believe God has such a heart for this city, and wants to see them come back to Him. And I know He has called me there...and will call the people He has to this team. I am so excited to see what God has for this trip...I know it is going to be amazing.

Past

Scalpel poised and ready

Incision smooth and precise

Life pours from the aperture

Heart beating under rancid flesh

The enemy’s maniacal laugh resonates through the hollow walls

Body exposed to the world

Every deep crevice revealed to the wolves

The world hisses and scoffs at the emptiness

Wounds ripped open for show

The finest production the inhabitants can fathom

A fine penny to cut in deeper

Deeper they cry, deeper

First to the heart is the diamond in the ruff

The woman lies motionless and waits

As they carve, chip, drill reaching for a part

Pieces held by many once what was whole

Never to be whole again

They dig deeper scrounging for every last bit

Eyeing in disappointment at the meager portions

The shell left emptied of its form

Light flows and scatters vultures

The carcass begins its rebirth

But they return, dig deeper

Scabs form

They’re torn open

Until one comes with the patches

Mending and reviving

Not whole or adequate, but patched and ready

Waiting for the needle and thread to complete the creation

This is a poem from my past. Let me just say that God saved me from this depression. I am amazed to read this and see where I was...and to look at who I am now. God made me so new, and He healed me...nothing else brought me to the place I am today. It was only God's love for His creation and my choice to run back into His open arms.

Kenya Part 1

It has been way too long since I last wrote a blog. Last time I wrote I was in Amsterdam on my way to Kenya. Now I am back in Redding just enjoying and obligation free summer. If you want to read about our daily activities in Kenya you can go here http://eliteams.blogspot.com/2009/05/simpson-univ-09-we-are-in-kenya.html. Otherwise I won't go into the specifics of my trip but just explain what the Lord was doing in me and through my trip.

Africa was an amazing trip and it is so hard to explain everything that God did while we were there, but He blessed every part of our trip. First of all the girls that were a part of my team: Megan McCarty, Megan Flores, and Karissa Hansen were all so wonderful. We got to know each other so much better on our trip and got a lot closer as friends. We worked so well together and felt really comfortable being honest and open with each other, so we were able to work through issues easily and lean on one another in prayer. It was such a blessing to be able to have people around me that I could confide in. Not to mention that since we were able to talk with each other we were comfortable joking and just having a lot of fun.

In fact, there were a lot of jokes we took away from the trip. One of the ongoing jokes was our bathroom jokes...because we seemed to have a lot of problems in and with bathrooms. Take this video for example, of when Karissa was locked in the bathroom.


Aside from the fun and all of the jokes God revealed some amazing things to me. First of all He showed me how big He really is. I already knew He was big, but I really got to experience how big He is and how He is at work all over the world. I was able to participate in the work that God is doing on the other side of the world. It is so cool to see that God is so present and at work everywhere! There is not a place in this whole world where God is not working, and there are so many opportunities for us to join in on what is happening.

We partnered with a ministry called Empowering Lives International (ELI) and it was such a blessing to be able to help them in the work they are doing for God's kingdom. I just fell in love with the ministry and the people that are a part of it. Here is a little info about ELI:

This organization seeks to help those who are in poverty. One of the major reasons for poverty in Africa is the fact that people lack the skills, knowledge, or opportunities to succeed. ELI is working to break the cycle of poverty through the establishment of Skills for Life training centers.

In these centers people from all over Kenya come to be taught new farming methods. The ELI staff seeks to broaden the range of possibilities in farming and teach people to utilize every resource that is available to them. By introducing new farming techniques and procedures, people learn to save money and produce better crops. Since Kenya is predominantly agricultural, these skills are very useful to have.

ELI also has Alcohol Rehab programs. Alcoholism is a major issue in Africa, as many people see alcohol sales as a way to provide for their families. It is an ever growing problem for Kenya and ELI has recognized that. With the Anti-Alcoholic program ELI seeks to help alcoholics come out of their alcoholism by providing them with training through the 12-step program after a week of detox. Before sending them back out into their communities they are taught business and agricultural skills to be able to be successful.

I really enjoyed getting to know the people that work at ELI and grew to feel so at home with them. I felt like they were a part of my family and I was a part of theirs, I felt so welcomed by every person. I miss those people so much, they each have an amazing heart and passion for God's people and want to bring the love of Christ to everyone. I really love those people and I am so glad I was able to get to know them.

The part about my trip that I enjoyed the most was getting to know the people, and especially the children in the Children's Home at ELI. There were 91 beautiful children and each one is so wonderful. The way the home is set up is the children are divided into 4 famililes: each family has a set of house parents that care for the children, and each family has 12 girls and 12 boys. The family I stayed with for the time while I was there was the Nickson family. I cannot even explain how much I came to love those children. If it were possible I would have brought them all home with me. But I know that they are being loved by their house parents and the other staff at ELI.

80 percent of the children at the home were orphaned by AIDS and 2 kids are infected with HIV. The rest lost their parents from illnesses or accidents. Although these children have all gone through so much pain in their lives they are the happiest and most grateful, appreciative children I have ever met. They thank God every day for blessing them with a place to live and be cared for, and they pray for those children who aren't cared for. They really have great hearts to help others, and they all have high hopes and dreams for their futures. Some kids want to be in the Kenyan government, some want to be engineers, pilots, politicians, teachers, doctors, and so many other things. Every child has a dream for themselves, and they know that with God anything is possible. Although the odds were stacked against them, they persevered. I learned so much from the children and their attitudes and heart, and most of all the faith.

I have said a lot so far, but not everything...so in my next blog I'll continue.

Amsterdam!!

Hello everyone! I only have a few minutes but we are randomly in an apple store in Amsterdam and there is internet so we are taking advantage of the opportunity. We have an 11 hour layover so we are exploring the city of Amsterdam and it is amazing!! We saw the Anne Frank house and the architecture here is so amazing! I can't believe I'm here...but I am! We leave tonight for Nairobi and will arrive there at about 7am tomorrow morning. Keep Praying for us as we travel but so far everything has gone smooth! Bwana Asifiwe (praise the lord in swahili)

On our way to Kenya!!!!!!!!!

I am leaving tomorrow at 3pm for Africa. I am so excited I cannot even explain the excitement. I won't be able to write or call...basically no communication until June 17th when we arrive back the states. We will, however, be able to update our team blog about once a week with what we are doing. The blog address is www.eliteams.blogspot.com. Read our blogs and please pray for us!! Thank you everyone for all of your prayers already and it's so good to know that we are so covered in prayer back in the states. I love you all and I can't wait to come back and tell everyone about my trip and what God did!!

Training Week

4 days until I leave for Kenya!!! I'm really excited and ready to go. Since Monday I have been at training week at Simpson for all of the missions teams. It has been a really good learning and growing experience while at the same time being very difficult and challenging. I have been pushed physically this week for the most part but that has really taught me a lot about endurance. We started out the week with a camping trip at Castle Crags. The first day we arrived we hiked up to one of the crags...it was about 3 miles uphill and then we had to go back down it. This hike was very difficult because I am not used to hiking uphill for that long and we also had to climb up rocks once we got closer to the top. By the end of the hike we were all extremely tired and hungry. Although it was difficult I really learned a lot about enduring. God was showing me that I need to endure through the struggle no matter how hard it is because eventually I will make it through. I also learned a lot about attitudes and choosing to have a good attitude even when you are extremely frustrated. If you choose to have a good attitude not only will your own experience be more positive, but also the people around you.

The next day we helped the park services carve out a trail for people to walk on. The day before I wondered out loud to my team "I wonder how they make these trails?"...and then the next day I found out firsthand...it's not easy. You actually dig the dirt out to make the path smooth and wide. It was hard work but we made it through. The rest of the week we have just bee spending time with God back at campus and doing team building activities. I have learned a lot about my team this week and we are beginning to work very well together. 

Today is our first day where we have some rest so it has been really nice to relax my muscles finally. I am really glad that the Lord has called me to this because I love learning and being pushed out of my comfort zone to accomplish big things. The Lord is so good. I just ask that you keep me and my team in your prayers as we train and then as we travel to Kenya on Monday!!

Baptism