Freedom

I have found the most wonderful thing this past week....freedom. The Lord has freed me from all that I have let hold me back in my life and keep me from being the woman that God has created me to be. I finally have truly embraced what it means to be free in the Lord.

I have struggled with loneliness, fear, self worth, regret, and shame for so long and I have let it take over so much of my life. I came to accept it all, and I listened to the negative words that played over and over again in my head. All of these things have held me back for so long and kept me weak and fearful, not living the life that God had intended me to live. I never felt good enough, I was never confident in myself, I never viewed myself as being worth anything. I dwelled on my past, I let it consume me. I continually felt the shame for all of my mistakes and I was regretful of the things I had done. I was hopeless, thinking that I could never get it right, that I would always be a screw up, a nobody, a nameless shadow. I felt that I somehow had brought all the pain I felt on myself for making the choices I did. I accepted the fact that I wasn't a person that mattered.

I have struggled with some of these issues my entire life, and others for the past year or so, until God showed me what He means by being free. I realized after talking to my Aunt Amy that I have allowed all of these issues to take reign in my life, and I have allowed Satan to speak those negative words into my life. Once I realized this I was able to pray against that and no longer accept those things in my life. Shame, fear, and loneliness are not of God and since they are not of God I do not have to accept them. As soon as I did that I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from me. I truly know what it means to have freedom in the Lord. Although these issues still come up, I don't let them have any control over my life anymore. As soon as I have a negative thought I pray over it and give it to the Lord.

I have never felt so good as I do now. I feel like I can finally become the woman that God has created me to be, and I can now love other people the way that I am supposed to love them. By letting go of all that I held onto I am free to live my life for Christ. I want Him to have all of me, I am ready to live completely and solely for Him.